Reflections

When you are lonely and grieving like we are, you shift through the rubble and you find yourself thinking as you go...

Can this be glued back together, but you know it will never be the same.

Your grieving and the storm cloud darkens everything around you, so you yearn for the light you remember being there before...

Now it's gone and broken and you don't know how to get the light back without fixing the debris.

What a tough and impossible task it seems to be...

Depression is unmotivating and tiring...

How do you do it?

Well, I sit here listening to Tori Amos for a little "life soundtrack" and think about this question.

If in "real life" I was in this surrounding...

I would reach in my DEEP pockets and pull out my small collection of slightly crumpled pictures of my smiling friends and family and slowly pan through them...

I would then pull out a big ball of lint and a couple of shiny stones that caught my eye...

I consider throwing out the lint but notice that it feels soft as I rub it between my fingers and place it back into the pocket with the pebbles.

I feel small tugs at the backs of my knees and I hear the word mommy and it's small echo behind it...

Oh, my goofy kids!

They look down and paw the ground absentmindedly as I stand there with them...

Of course eager for fun they look at each other, smile and start chattering.

I notice a glint to the right and in unison we move toward it...

CRUNCH...CRUNCH...CRUNCH...

At times you don't even care whats underneath your feet.

Bending down you are looking at your reflection and you notice a weathered and tired older you staring back...

Picking up the shard...ouch...you recoil as it cuts.

Sucking on your finger, you look up at your girls who have decided to sit together a small distance away on one of the cluttered mounds...

As your theme song drones on, you wonder when you lost yourself and just when the dislike started to creep in.

The now broken mirror that you dropped at your feet, is just another thing that once you find the glue in all this mess...

Will in time come together quite nicely...

Now where was I?